Baby Boom, 1987She went on to tell me that in her eyes, if a woman has reached the age of 28 without marrying and having started a family - then she may as well rule it out completely. That when she married at 22, and had her first born at 23, it was a huge relief that she could now concentrate on the family and that all was well. Can this be true to modern life? If a woman is still single as she reaches her 30's, is she likely to remain that way forever? I hear people tutting as I make this statement and pose the question, crying out - "of course that isn't true!" But so many women are now focused on career aspirations and climbing that ladder to success, and less about settling down. Some women want both, and are struggling to work out how it can be done in such a competitive business environment (Have you seen the film Baby Boom? See the picture above) With so many of us told that sacrifices need to be made in order to get far in our chosen professions, I wonder about the percentages of those women who actually have children at all.
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| nydailynews.com |
And so we say that it isn't true, but many women I know in their late 20's are struggling to come to terms with the fact that their 30's are fast approaching and a family of their own is still a long way off. Meeting that special someone seems to have become such a high concern to so many women in this position, that they are resorting to many modern methods of social networking. Dating organisations like match.com and e-harmony are full of males and females in their late 20's early 30's, and according to a study undertaken in April this year by match.com, 1 in 6 of couples who married in the last three years met on a dating site. ONE in SIX couples!
Do you think we have lost the values of our parents and their parents? Should we grow up thinking about marriage and children as the first priority, and having a career as a secondary objective? Have we gone full circle? The younger we are as we become parents the less we have to teach our children from our own experience, but the longer we will be able to spend with them as they grow up into adulthood. Someone one said this to me and it is so true. I don't believe you should have children unless you have something to teach them... I think it's a classic truth. But I also think that the best age to have children is in the bracket I am currently in - and it definitely seems to be passing me by.
Taking this into account, the weekend just spent surrounded by family and friends in all stages of family life themselves has shown me that I really should relax a little, enjoy my life and not expect anything to go to plan. In fact - not having a plan is probably the best advice I received when it comes to relationships, and I am sticking with it. It's the only aspect of my life that I will relate this to - as I do love a good plan! But I will still continue to wonder in my head whether I will forever be a singleton, it's a worry. Definitely a worry.
Interesting viewpoint this. I have to say, as a chap in his late thirties, I am very much aware that the dating websites appear to be full of mid to late thirtysomethings, many with children and in the process of getting divorced/separated/whatever, and the remainder without but very clearly stating that they want children (although this group's age bracket does stretch downwards to the late twentysomethings).
ReplyDeleteI am currently writing a post on the social background and drivers behind this upsurge in online related relationships/marriages, from the perspective of a participant, and it is proving more complex and difficult than I originally anticipated. This goes for the dating bit as much as the post-writing.
An interesting article, with much food for thought. Thank you.