One day I will finish it...

Late at night on a train journey with a notebook full of drawings. She noticed him before his  drifting gaze noticed hers. He had thin wrists with a small question mark tattooed above the pisiform bone on his left. A slight smile on his face, but his eyes were distant and staring forward. She wondered about him. Where had she seen him before? She recognised the scrawl under his pen, the drawings whose wispy overtones were achingly familiar.  She had seen him here before with his notebook and pen This train, this time. That smile. Hard to look casual, she began glancing around the carriage. She found it even harder to look away. noticing the approaching station before it was too late, she grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder, running to the door.  The train jolted to a stop and she jumped off into the snow, the cold of the air catching in her lungs and ripping around her shoulders. Shuddering she pulled up her fur collar and headed towards the bar.  Her hair was a mess; even after all the preening in front of her cousin's gold framed mirror. Stars came to life as she walked through the icy night. The wind seemed to weave itself around her as the night followed her every step with its crisp gaze.

He knew she was looking at his drawings, he knew she had seen him there before.  Starting to feel nervous, he pulled his cuffs over his wrists and turned his thoughts to the dreams.  Every night for a year, he had the same dream. In through the windows it crept and around the bed it stood. Fixed stare on the sleeping form. In through his ears and eyes, the dream formed and swirled. A vision. Colour and dots creating a scene so precious and sacred, he stirs. Suddenly forced into reality he reaches for water, panic and loss in his eyes. It is not meant to be and so he falls. Falling away into another dream, he can see the heavens in his soul. The pieces of the puzzle falling like snowflakes into the sea. melting and changing into a soft foam above the water.  Waking, he reaches for her. the space she used to occupy was now cold and empty but there were still memories of her there. the glass on the table. the picture on the wall above the bed.  The thought of removing them meant forever she was gone. A feeling that brought with it the panics of the dream world, and he couldn't let her go. The gulls outside, breaking the silence, left him searching his mind for the images of her presence, but they too had gone. nothing makes sense now. How could it? he had noone to relate no. noone to listen to his stories or look at his drawings. His inspiration had left him for the sea and the waves.

the bar was empty but she hoped that it would be. it seemed strange in a way, that she hadn't thought about staying with him on the train carriage.  She had seen him so often and although they'd never met it was as if she'd known him her whole life.  Pulling off her stole, she ordered a coffee and sat. Waiting. Shomi was always late.  she rested her drink in her hands as she breathed in the richness and warmth. the charaters in the bar hadn't taken much notice as she'd come in and ordered. but now it seems they found her interesting.  Perhaps because she hadn't ordered a beer. Perhaps because she found it more comfortable in the back by herself than at the bar with the rest of them. She shook off doubts that she should have waited in the snow for Shomi before coming in. The deer hunters could have their fun but she didn't want to join them. She reclined deeper into her seat, propping her feet up on the chair opposite and breathing in her coffee, she sighed.  Wondering once more about the boy... she let her thoughts fly. The gulls circled abouve the bar, their calls echoed in the snow and between the trees. Bouncing off the lake she could hear them. Breaking her thoughts of the drawings and the tattoos. The cheekbones. The smile.  A figure burst through the bar doors, bringing with it a slight snow drift - immediately sparking reactions from the hunters at the bar. The figure hurried over and tossed down the cloak surrounding it. Shomi. Arriving in style, clothed in mysterious darkness. “At last! Where the hell have you been?!” Maria cried out to her. Then in a whisper “I’ve been stuck listening to these crazy guys for an age!” jabbing a thumb in the deer hunters direction. It had been too long and the friends drank coffee and excitedly explained the deepest of their thoughts and actions from the last few weeks all in a flurry of giggles and hushed tones.  Hours passed and their coffee grew cold and their voices slowed.  neither wanted to admit it was time. Neither needed to let go. It was written in the stars that the cousins were to be close forever. Their mothers had told them. Inseparable from infancy they had known each other’s thoughts in advance. Always plotting and scheming ways to escape the life they knew. But without success. Knowing that each of them had a purpose, something beyond their high school, beyond their parents view.  Dawn was nearing, the hunters had long gone and the barman was now busy in the kitchen preparing eggs for his breakfast. They had talked all night, and the thought of sleep was overwhelming each of them. Though neither of them would admit it. These meetings were fleeting and yet necessary for them both. The ground was covered in a fresh fall of snow when they left the bar. Tears and a swift hug and a wave and she was gone again.  Shomi never liked goodbyes, neither of them did. a tabby cat darted in front of the girls as they went their separate ways. She watched as Shomi vanished down the coast path and into the snow. dawn was breaking and the gulls could be heard again but quieter now, coming from the distant ocean swells.

He could hear the chimes and the bells from where he lay. He didn't want to stir, the morning sun darting in through the skylight. The urge to go outside to smoke was playing on his mind, fighting with the memories of her lying next to him. He was isolated from the world by his melancholy awareness of the secrets that lay in wait. He could sense them coming. Breaking down doors and walls, pushing people down in their path, leaving destruction in their wake. The secrets were coming, and faster than he had imagined. He watched the church disappear under a flock of birds as he smoked. He watched the clouds making shapes in the sky. The music drifting through the air from the apartment below. His room was on the top floor, and he was lucky enough to have his own private roof terrace. Access was narrow and limited and it hadn't been used by the tenants before him. only by chance had they shimmied round past the pipes and damp walls to the other side to see what they could only glimpse from their kitchen window. The space was vast, the size comparable to their whole living space in square footage, but slightly longer. It was the flat-roof space above the apartments below his, and over time they had added plants and decoration to make it their own secret garden. She had positioned rocks and sand there too, and the rake which now stood against the wall. a golden sphere lay in the centre. A blue one just to the side of it, a gift from her. but he didn't know how to use them The knowledge had been passed to her. But she had left before she could teach him the way. All he had left of her was the paint box and her sketchbook. He needed a drink. The loss had hit him hard, and worse still, he had no idea what to do about her disappearance. 

Memories of her childhood skipped in her thoughts as she closed her eyes.  This train was speeding forwards towards the town but her mind was entirely somewhere else.  In a memory so far back that even the sky could not predict what was to come of it.  She had walked the length of the train before finding a seat away from the other passengers. He wasn't here.  The carriage she settled in was a quiet coach with several suits near the front.  An elderly couple near the middle, talking in hushed tones.  The suits were reading spreadsheets and newspapers predicting the next financial crash. Little did they know about the secret. It was coming for them and they would be unable to stop it. She closed off her mind to the thoughts of the destruction that lay ahead, and thought back to the simple life.  The sea and the rocks.  The smell of the air and the sound of the gulls.  They had enjoyed the simple life back then - it had brought them peace. Walking along the sea walls and perching way out to sea on the rocky groynes. They thought life would always be so perfect.  Drawing symbols in the sand and practicing ninja kicks along the surf. They envied the grownups and their sense of purpose, but relished in their childhood freedom.  Breathing in the cool sea winds and watching the tides.  If only it had lasted. 

She stepped off the train as it pulled into the central station. The wind was now a mere breeze and the sun was coming up, warming the faces of the commuters around her.  She was hungry, and set along the city walls to a local coffee and bagel house. Avoiding going home until her mother was at work; she set herself down in a booth and ordered.  She needed to make sense of the news from Shomi.  The secret was getting closer, and the time was coming when she had to prepare herself to follow on the path.  The way was an ancient tradition handed down through generations, and the lessons taught to her by her father would only go so far in helping her on her own journey. Her mother’s ignorance was her charm, and kept her safer than she knew.  Shomi was on her own now and with no way to contact her, it seemed harder than ever to stay focussed. She needed to sleep.

Her mother's flat was warm and full of green plants, rich and luscious; they lined the windowsills and shelves with their huge leaves and occasional flowers. It was a comfort to know that it was still the same as she unlocked the door and popped her head into the lounge. She passed the gold framed mirror hanging in the hall and headed to her room closing the door behind her.   The room was small in comparison to Shomi's old flat in the village. It had a small desk and a chair, with a double bed that reached out half way up the wall with a ladder reaching down to the floor. Underneath there was a rug, and countless cushions.  The window sills were deep and a single orchid stood in a ceramic pot. Its vibrant pink petals stood proud and still.  Climbing the ladder and collapsing on the soft sheets, she saw a gull swoop past the window.  Her eyes closed and she began to dream.  The swirls of colour brushed over her face as the hair on the backs of her arms stood up on end. The peace was pushed aside by a crackling sound, around her ears and eyes, and a rush of air rattled the windows. Not knowing if she was awake or asleep, she followed the swirling colours leading into the next room.  Her father’s old study was large with high ceilings, it too had a desk, but his was grand beyond comparison and had elaborate carvings down each leg.  The swirls of colour and light poured through the open door and around the room like a whirlwind carrying her with it. Almost stumbling as she reached the window, she noticed the colours and light calming and hovering like an aura around the desk, then slowly pouring into the keyhole of the first of the deep drawers underneath. Then the colours and light were gone.

She opened her eyes with the sudden panicked realisation of her sleeping through most of the day. She lay there watching the clouds pass by the window, the gulls swooping and calling to each other as her heart began to slow.  The faintness of the colours from her dream still swam in front of her eyes.  Blinking, the dream began to drift out of her thoughts along with the colours, and she went back to watching the gulls.

He was used to it now, to making his cigarettes last. Money was harder to come by, and there were less students needing private tuition these days.  He took his last deep inhalation and dropped the end into a flowerpot. The air was cooler as he walked by the lake. Trying to gether his thoughts and remember her last movements at the flat. He had with him the notebook filled with her drawings and notes.  Neither of which made any sense. But she had left them for a reason. He just needed time to figure out what that reason was. He just hoped that he had time.

Skip-tripping across the snow laden road, she cursed as she dropped her glove in her hasty attempt to pull it on with her teeth.  The day was coming to an end, and she had been taken by surprise the depth of her sleep today.  Recently she had been sleeping less and less, the gradual change in their circumstances over the past few months had taken its toll even though she hadn’t realised it.  But today, she managed to lose the entire midday section to sleep. To dreams so surreal she barely understood herself when she woke up to the gulls calling...  “Hey, Maria!” shouted a voice from across the street. She spun around, hearing the familiar sound of her mother.  “Oh great” She mumbled under her breath.  She wasn’t ready for this conversation. 

“I thought you’d disappeared!” she gasped, hugging her only daughter tightly around the shoulders. “Where have you been? Have you seen Shomi?!”  As the words left her mouth the winds started to whip around the sky.  A strange darkness fell like a mist across the city and the birds became quiet and still in the trees. “We must get home, Maria. It’s cold out tonight” she whispered nervously as the two headed back through the falling snowflakes and haunted winds towards the flat.