Checking-in with yourself mid-summertime

After a hectic year and time spent over on Reflections on Curation I needed to check back in. 

It's a funny term, 'checking in', but one which resonates deeply. I have practiced yoga on and off for years, but I don't feel that I have ever seriously and continually 'practiced' it. 

This past year has taught me a few things about myself, and my body, and brought so much awareness back to understanding how my body is actually feeling. 

Yoga is an especially insightful practice which puts you in the present and gives you the time, space and quiet to really, deeply, 'check-in' with yourself. 

In August I will be heading down to the Devon countryside to share a weekend with my favourite yogi, Sarah, for a sadhana yoga retreat with teacher Lila Conway. Different to previous yoga retreats I have been on, this one will immerse us in a variety of practices; Asana, Pranayama, Kriyas, Chanting, Mantra, Sutras, and Meditation.  To be honest, I am more excited than I have ever been about a yoga retreat - purely as I will be able to really learn some new practices and look deep into myself in search of renewed purpose. 

It is all too easy to lose sight of the very essence of yourself, when you are packing so much into your life. When I took on a new job which involved moving across two counties, and a part-time masters degree, I thought I would be the same as I always am, essentially, breezing through with a smile on the outside and gallons of strength and resilience in the tank. But life isn't always like that. 

It is now mid-summer, and I am relishing the opportunity to re-focus. 

Stay Present

"Fed up with your routine? Annoyed with your partner's habits? Suddenly realised you've gained a stone and become really unsociable?" 

Oh god. It's all happened again. I so easily forget to stay present, and things slip quickly and dramatically out of control. My life needs an overhaul.  

Currently taking a few days off work as I've sprained my ankle, and I find myself sitting here again at my computer, looking out of the window at the small patch of green - but now with additional daffodils. The leaves are still bimbling around in the cold wind. 

How can I keep things on an even keel? Is it really all just about "staying present"? I have found myself gravitating to my yoga books and reading about different types of spiritual practice.  What is my subconscious telling me? 

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”  Buddha 

I am feeling like I need a huge cleanse. I need to look at all areas of my life and assess it all. Clear out the unused, the worn out, the old and make way for the fresh and the new. 

Tolle explains how people can condition themselves to slow down and appreciate the present. It all begins with one question.  “Ask yourself, ‘Am I still breathing?’" Tolle says. “You suddenly feel the air flowing into your body and out of your body... At that moment, you’ve entered the state of presence. Even if it’s only five seconds.”

A list of accomplishments

I have been encouraged to write a list of my accomplishments - as an exercise to see which areas in my life I have focused and created a outcome as a result of dedicated and directed energy.  Someone else who has done this exercise recalled that "...as I perused my list afterwards I realised that each of those items within the list required some different skill or mindset."

Which is something you need to remind yourself is always a possibility. You never stop learning, growing, and improving. So here we are. My list...

1. I flew a glider whilst in the Air Training Corps when I was in my pre-teens.
2. I played in 3 rugby matches in my early teens, with an (Olympic) England Rugby star before she was famous.
3. I got a 2:1 at university.
4. I have lived in Wolverhampton, Newcastle upon Tyne, London, Bournemouth, Taunton, and soon, Bath. 
5. I photographed shoes for a major retailers website (Dune). Some of which are still online.
6. I travelled through London, France and Spain, before spending 10 days travelling around Morocco, staying sometimes with locals in their homes. 
7. I have run two half marathons, one 10 mile race, and three 10k races.
8. I have raised money for Save the Children and the Mental Health Foundation through my running.
9. I am still friends with three people I went to primary school with (31 years!)
10. I grew a plant from a lemon pip. It is now around 7 years old.
11. I have donated hundreds of books to Oxfam - and I had read them all!
12. I embarked on a change of career after over 10 years as a bookseller, at age 34.
13. I have written an article for a national magazine.
14. I have given a public talk.
15. I have undertaken a major research project, and it has won me a place on a Masters course at Bath Spa University for 2017.

It's pretty exciting seeing these things written down. Try it for yourself!

Let's rebuild

Looking out of the window from my dining room table, where I currently sit, I can see a patch of green, and a stone wall. The wind causes leaves to bimble around.

Silence. There is silence in my soul.

I have been at home, alone, for three days now. My soul is silent, and my words fall away before they're spoken. All is soft. I am not used to this feeling, this interruption to my life. My days, usually filled with grand notions of where to go, what to do. Conversation loud and hurried. Work and running, and fizzing thoughts in the mind. It has been replaced by silence. I can sleep at night. I don't smile; but I don't cry.  I wake in the morning and lie there, no thoughts, just peace.

A breakdown last week caused much pain, to myself and to those around me. I begged to be left in peace. I was bereft at my sudden inability to control my feelings, my actions, my wretched soul. I needed to be alone. At least I knew myself well enough to make that decision. It is better to not hurt the closet to me any more. At least not for a few days. It is working. Relationships - even if they are at a distance now, are being repaired.

[Listening to:  Poliça – Wandering Star]

Let's rebuild. 

Running a PB

OK: My HM PB is 2:39:08. I'm signed up to do the same HM in Oct 2017. Can I shave 10 minutes off my time? Yes? 

Supposedly If your half goal time is 2:30…
10K Time Needed: 1:07:17
5K Time Needed: 32:24

It's time to train.



Lets try this from the Zero To Hero Half Marathon Training Plan

Week 1:
Monday: Rest
Tuesday: R/W 2 miles
Wednesday: XT 30 min
Thursday: R/W 2 miles
Friday: Rest
Saturday: R/W 3 miles
Sunday: W 2 miles

Training Key:
Easy Runs (ER): Perform these runs at a comfortable, conversational pace. If you find yourself huffing and puffing, slow down.

Run/Walk (R/W): Alternate between running and walking. Perform your walk intervals at a brisk pace, so it’s not too difficult to transition back to running. Try alternating between one minute of walking and one minute of running. If this feels too easy, increase the amount of time you run. If it’s too difficult, walk for longer. Once you find a ratio that works best for you, gradually increase your running intervals and decrease your walking intervals each week.

Walks (W): You’ll walk some of your miles so you can safely build your fitness, but keep a brisk pace.

Tempo Runs (TR): Tempo runs build your confidence and improve your speed. They should be performed at a “comfortably hard” pace—faster than your easy runs, but not so tough so that you’re breathing heavily. Start your temp runs with a warm-up mile of easy running and finish with a relaxed cool-down mile.

Cross Training (XT): Incorporate one or two days of non-impact cross-training, such as cycling, elliptical, swimming and yoga into your routine to build your fitness and prevent injuries.

Strength Training (ST): Perform 20 minutes of lower body and core strengthening exercises (pushups, squats, lunges, deadlifts, planks, etc.).

Book List

Books I really want to re-read in 2017:

The Quick - Lauren Owen
The Historian - Elizabeth Kostova
The Swan Thieves - Elizabeth Kostova
Fup - Jim Dodge
The Pigeon - Patrick Suskind
The Secret History - Donna Tartt

right this second:

Since my last flurry of blog activity, LIFE pretty much happened. There's so much going to happen in the next few years too. So much so, that a single post isn't gonna cut the mustard quite frankly... but here's a rundown:

RUNNING: I have done a bit of running since we last spoke. A 10k in Taunton, then a Half Marathon in Bournemouth, followed swiftly by a 10 miler in Bideford. Not too poor an effort for Summer / Autumn race running!  I have another 10k to do before Christmas, then I'm done with races for this year. Next year I have signed up for the Half Marathon in Bournemouth again in October and I will be attempting to beat my PB there. Other than that, I haven't booked anything. I need to really just train for life so that I'm ready for whatever I fancy doing last minute. That's basically my style.

***Things that are making me happy right this second: Listening to my playlist / remembering my retreat from last year / thinking of the future / NOT THINKING about money / looking at the washi tape on my desk / remembering my lovingly made dippy egg lunch.***